Couple Counseling
by TheWitchOfTheSouth
Summary: "You know what your problem is?" Macey said wisely, "You guys have trust issues. And communication. And a lot more.  Know what you need? Couple counseling." Cammie and Zach are forced in Macey's couple counseling, as are Mr. S and Rachel in chapter 2.
1. Cammie and Zach

**This is during when Zach was staying at Gallagher, after the Blackthorne battle. It's in no ones POV, a one shot unless asked for otherwise. More at the end. Disclaimer: Don't own, but am a former student at Gallagher Academy (At least according to facebook.) Hope you like it!**

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Cammie was trying to do her COW homework, when she thumped her head down on her desk. "I can't do this." She murmured, seemingly talking to herself. However, Macey choose to answer anyway. "Can't do what?" She asked, rubbing lotion into her hands. Cammie looked up, wary "Act like everything is normal, when it isn't." She replied tiredly, her shoulders slumped.

"Ah." Macey said, nodding. "You're thinking about Goode."

Pause

"Um, no, I was actually thinking about how my life is in danger, and-"

"But really, in the back of your mind, you were thinking about him."

"No, Macey, I was thinking about how-"

"You know what your problem is?" Macey said wisely, "You guys have trust issues. And communication. And a lot more. Know what you need? Couple counseling."

Cammie looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "Yea, except we're not a couple." She said, abandoning her attempt at saying she wasn't thinking about him, and looking back down at her COW homework.

Macey was undaunted. "That can be fixed easily. What are you, anyway? Friends? Friend with benefits?" She questioned, tilting her head to the side and examining Cammie, as if the answer to her question would appear on her face.

The face in question looked uneasy. "I guess we're just…you know…..agents." She finished lamely. Macey rolled her eyes. "You like to kiss each other all the time. And from what you've told me, your pretty _handsy _agents."

Cammie dropped her pencil unto her work. "What are you talking about?" She said, clearly truly not knowing what Macey was getting at. Macey lifted her head up and started talking in a high voice, mimicking Cammie. " ' So then Zach's arm was around my waist, and-' 'I couldn't get up, cause he was holding me down-' 'He was all pressed up against me, so it was kinda hard to think….' ' I sat on his chest a till he told me….' Really, Cam, get a room."

Cammie cursed in Spanish "Ok, Macey, I'll admit we are _something. _And if you'd like to figure out what, that's great, cause I'd love to know too."

Macey smirked, propping her high-heeled boots unto the desk. "Excellent. Bring him in; you two are in for some fun"

* * *

"McHenry, you're insane. I always assumed, and this just confirms my suspicions"

Zach said in disbelief, still shaken from having been dragged there by Bex and Macey when Cammie refused to get him. "Shut up or I'll have the bouncer deal with you." Macey said in a bored voice, tilting her head toward Bex, who was leaning against the door frame.

"I see….." Zach said slowly "And where's your other friend? The tiny one?"

"I will not" Bex interrupted, though she was under strict instructions to be quiet "Have you refer to my friends as 'The tiny one', when you obviously know her name" Zach rolled his eyes and smirked slightly "Fine, where is your friend Liz who is not at all tiny?" Macey giggled, and Cammie stared at her. "What?" She asked. "Zach saying tiny entertains me. You know, he's probably referring to his-"

"Ok!" Cammie said, cutting her off. "Can we get this over with? If it has to been done, quick and painful is better then drawn out." "You're weird." Was Macey's reply "But yes."

* * *

"So, Zach. Can you please tell me subjects number 1's name?"

"Her _name_?"

"Correct. I thought you we're a spy; shouldn't you hear me the first time?"

"I thought you were a spy, shouldn't you know her name?"

"Zachary. I mean, Subject Number 2, it's an exercise. To see how well you know each other. Ca- Subject Number 1, stop rolling your eyes, I can see you. So, full name?"

"Cameron Ann Morgan, Your highness"

"Good, and keep calling me that. Now, Cammie, can you please tell me Subject Number 2's full name?"

Cammie looked wary already. "How did you even know my whole name? I never told you." Zach started to open his mouth and point to himself, but she cut him off "Never mind. Zachary Goode, I don't know his middle name, we fail, and can we leave?"

Macey sighed, "What am I going to do with you? If this is the case, you _clearly_ need my help"

"O yea?" Cammie said, getting defensive "What's Preston's middle name?" She challenged. Bex rolled her eyes from the door.

"James" Macey said promptly. "You fail. But no, you're not leaving. We have only just begun. First things first, you need to start to get to know each other. Level 1 clearance stuff, that's it. You should start Cammie, by finding out what Zach middle name is. Get it into a clever conversation, if you can-" "Zach, what's you middle name?" Cammie interrupted her. Macey huffed.

"Gee, Gallagher Girl, I would have told you, but you seem so reluctant to be here. I'm having fun myself. We obviously have 'conflicting interests and don't belong together'" He said in a high voice. Cammie stared at him. "I'm kidding," he said, holding up his hands. "Doesn't anyone in here have a since of humor?" "Gee, I would respond, but your saying I have no since of humor deeply offended me. And nice try getting out of answering the question. It didn't work."

Bex was now making gagging noises in the background. "What?" Cammie snapped at her. "You two make me sick" She replied. "I think Macey's right. You need this. Lets out all the sexual tension. But lets not forget there are other people, in the room, m'kay?"

"Not a chance"

"Your friends are really weird," Zach observed.

* * *

"I really think we're getting somewhere," Macey said, popping her bubblegum and hour or so later. Therefore breaking the 'no

bubblegum unless used as truth detector or poison rule.'

Bex was falling asleep against the door frame, Zach was laying down on the bed, Cammie was trying to seem like she wasn't looking at him, Macey was noticing the Cammie was trying to seem like she wasn't looking at Zach, and Liz had came into the room 20 minutes ago and was reading a book in the corner, pretending not to be listening.

"We've established that you two have trust issues, communication issues, conflicting family problems-" Liz snorted, therefore breaking her attempt at being undercover. Macey continued "-undetermined futures with or without each other-"

"OK!" Cammie finally snapped, "We get it, we fail. But as I said at the beginning, _we-aren't-a-couple!_ So I'm sorry if we don't pass your standards, but what do you want? Us to declare are undivided love for each other? What, Macey!"

Zach propped himself up unto his elbows "That was pretty hot" He observed, "I think you should make her mad more often, McHenry" Macey curled her lip. She then said "She's kinda right, you know. I mean, you like her, right? You guys have kissed like six times, you clearly care for one another. I can say a bunch of crap, but I really want is for you two to admit that!"

Bex then chimed in still groggy from light sleep "Cam, sweetheart, we get it if you guys can't actually be a couple right now. Really. We just want you to be happy, and a person to beat up if he hurts you in anyway. I need some more targets."

Zach sat up "Ok" He said, looking at Cammie "This is crazy. Cammie knows that I care about her, right Gallagher Girl? We don't need you guys interfering."

Cammie has that look on her face, the looked that said 'O my god did he just say that yes he did he really just said that I mean I assumed it but coming out and saying it o god now I have to say something else that can't say to much well here goes nothing' look. And then said "Of course. Thanks guys, but really, we're fine." Before adding "and Macey, I don't think counseling is for you. Telling your patients to frequently 'jump in a lake' or 'shut the hell up or I'll rip all your nails off' normally doesn't have a good outcome"

Zach laughed. "Come on, Gallagher Girl, I'll show you a secret tunnel to the roof that I'll bet you haven't discovered yet." A slow smile crawled unto Cammie's face. She stood up "It's on, Blackthorne Boy" She said, before following him out the door. Before she left, she quickly turned to her roommates and mouthed 'thank you' before running off.

Macey and Bex beamed at each other. "Well, Lizzie, another job well done" Macey said, climbing into bed. "O, and next time-" She added "Can you try to come in a bit early and hide the bugs a bit better? They were staring at them." Liz rolled her eyes "you do it then" She mumbled, before throwing down her book and getting into bed as well. Macey clucked her tongue. "You're the smart one, you figure it out." "_You're_ the one that wants to council them, it's not my problem!" "She's your best friend! She has a problem, you have a problem!" "Well _you" _

"GUYS!" Bex screamed from the other side of the room. They both turned to her in alarm. "What?" They asked, frantically, looking around for signs of danger. Bex regarded them calmly. "Shut up, are I'm going to put both of you in counseling"

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**Yay, done! I'm saying right now that I wont be doing another chapter about Grant and Bex or about Liz and Jonas, because we don't even know their last names (it never actually says that Grants last name is Newman) And lots of girls like Grant, and we don't really even know if Zach, Grant, and Jonas are friends. Sure, they now stuff about each other, but they're spies. So nothing to write about. Review if you hated it, review if you liked it, and review if you want me to add a part about them looking over a list titled "how to tell if you're in a abused relationship." Spoiler of that – "Number one, the person is supportive of what you do" Cammie looked at Zach in disbelief "people**_** do**_** that? And here I was thinking you were normal. My god, what else have I been missing?"**

**Ciao!**


	2. Rachel and Joe Solomon

Chapter two! This one is different then the last, just saying.

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**"Are you serious?"

These words were uttered by Macey McHenry, as she sauntered down the hall of Gallagher Academy, her black hair and hips swishing in unison. The man to whom these words were spoken to turned around in surprise, and raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Macey kept on walking towards him, shaking her head "Not to sound disrespectful or anything, Mr. Solomon, but really? Headmaster Morgan?" Mr. Solomon had turned around and kept on nonchalantly walking towards the teachers lounge, looking around for the first change to ditch Macey.

She dove in front of the door and put her hands on her hip, while Mr. Solomon stopped walking a bit before, as though he wasn't planning on going in there anyway and happened to just see her waiting. "Yes, Ms. Mchenry?" Macey continues her monologue "I mean, after Aunt Abby kissed you and everything. After you _flirted_ with her. I thought we were home free. Headmaster Morgan is pretty and all, but your dead best friend's wife? What are you _playing _at?

Mr. Solomon stared at her in shock, never haven been spoken like that by a student before. But he isn't a master spy for nothing, and calmly said "I'm pretty sure you just said a couple confidently pieces of information there, Ms. McHenry. And you seem to have your facts wrong as well. Never say something that could be easily proven wrong by the person you're speaking to, especially if that said person is the one your accusing. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get into that room."

Macey moved aside, letting him walk in. She then waited for 10.3 seconds, before pulling out her hairpin (used for practical purposes only, she would never actually _wear_ one) picking the lock, and stepping inside after him. And shutting the door.

She had unfortunately made one fatal error. She didn't look to see who else was in the room before locking herself in with them. So there she stood, looking into the staring faces of not only Mr. Solomon, but Rachel Morgan herself. And Mr. Moskowitz, who sensing confrontation, hastily excused himself.

Macey, not being quite what you would call a master spy yet, blushed. "Hello, Macey" Rachel said slowly, waiting for her to speak. Macey looked a little sick "I um, was talking to Mr. Solomon, and, um, wanted to finish. Talking to him"

Rachel Morgan and Joe Solomon proceeded to meet eyes in the reflection of the glass outside the door, Rachel cocking her eyebrows at him, and Mr. Solomon nodding slightly. They both turned to Macey and said "Continue."

Macey was looking a bit uncomfortable, wanting to be able to yell at Mr. Solomon alone. She opened her mouth and decided to lie "Well, I was talking to him about this homework assignment, and-" Mr. Solomon had just shook his head slightly in the reflection, letting Rachel know that this was a lie "Macey" She interrupted "I know your lying. What is this really about? Is Cammie ok?" She added, slightly panicked now.

Mr. Solomon thought that this would be a good time to interfere. "Calm down, Rachel. Ms. Morgan is fine. Ms. McHenry was just talking nonsense, and is going to leave now. Right?" he added in Macey's direction.

"Actually," Macey said in a strong voice, never having been one to take well to being calling nonsense "On behalf on Cammie, I would like to say something" Rachel turned to her, surprised, and Mr. Solomon closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch they were sitting on. "Good god" He muttered under his breath, though everybody heard and ignored him. Macey was on a role

"You and Mr. Solomon dating? As I said before, I mean no disrespect Headmaster Morgan, but that's wrong. Just wrong." Rachel was staring at her blinking. She didn't feel like bringing up that fact that they weren't actually _dating _yet, and trying to be good 'the mother of your child's friend' just asked "What do you mean, wrong?"

"Well" Macey said, hiding her shock at actually getting to say "First of all, dating at work? The boss dating her worker? That's wrong in many ways. I mean I guess it could be considered kinky, but that's _not_ something I want to think about."

Mr. Solomon shot up from hisreclining position and openly stared at Macey. It was a mark of how much both training they've both had that they didn't blush. But then did stare, and blink. Until Rachel came out of her revere and said "Ms. McHenry, that is completely inappropriate-"

Macey interrupted her, decided that facing all the consequences was worth this. She was a rebel, right? 'I can do this' She thought 'I've done worse.'

She continued "I understand, and now that I got that over with, there are some other reasons. Some pretty good ones, too." She stopped talking, waiting for the response. Rachel looked ready to kick her out, but it was Mr. Solomon who, never one to back out of a chance to get information, said "Yes? What are those?"

Pause

"W-well" Macey stuttered "There's the whole fact that you're dating your dead best friends ex-wife. That's morally wrong. Very, very, wrong. AND the fact that you were kissing and flirting with her sister just a couple months ago. God, what is WRONG with you?"

"Ok" Rachel said, who had had more then enough of this, and did _not_ like having what she been secretly thinking voiced out loud by a student. And she was _really_ crossed some lines. "Get out. Now"

They both looked slightly, well, scary now, so Macey decided it would be best to leave. But she couldn't help but say as she was turning around "And Cammie thinks you're basically the biggest traitor ever, with the Circle and now this. Just putting that out there Mr. Solomon."

Macey then walked out and closed the door behind her, knowing full well that that was a low blow and probably to much, but after all the crap he'd caused that year, this was her small bit of revenge. And it was true.

Macey turned back down the hall, and walked strait into Cammie, Bex, and Liz. "Hey guys" she said surprised and smug "You'll never guess what I just did…."

"I can't _believe_ you told him I thought that!"

"Kinky? You actually said _kinky?"_

"O my god, they are going to _murder_ you?"

"Macey! My god, I'm having lunch with her tomorrow!"

"I can't believe you're not already _dead!"_

"MACEY! I DO have class with Mr. S, you know! O my god, I will NEVER be able to look at him OR my mom the same way EVER again!"

Macey stared at them, as they spurted out thing that they really shouldn't know, unless they had an invisibility cloak, or….

She turned to Liz, and cocked her eyebrow. Liz looked smugly back at her

"You told me to hide them better this time"

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**Voila! Guess who thinks that Joe Solomon and Rachel Morgan would be **_**completely **_**wrong on many levels? Yup, I do. So I figured that Macey, the first one to point out that something might be goin' on between them, would see this too. **

**Again, if anybody has any requests besides Grant/Jonas, feel free to tell me. Or I could just end it here, whichever. Review!**


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